High Road Advocate

ADVOCATE – noun – a person who speaks or writes in support or defense of a person, cause, etc.

I received an email from Chunky's school basketball coach the other day that was not entirely surprising, yet got my mama bear defenses up.

[he who is spirited] is much more disruptive than the other players. This makes it difficult to teach. I and my assistants do not feel that we are baby sitters, but are there to teach them the fundamentals and how to play the game. The main problem is -- is that [he who is spirited] has talent and potential as a player -- if he would only act a little more mature and endeavor to learn what the game is all about. Have a talk with him. I would love to see him develop as a player and a young gentleman. Since 1958, I have coached 50 teams. This of course being the 50th. Why at the age of 75 I have chosen 5th and 4th graders -- I don't know -- everyone thinks I am crazy.

This guy has obviously been around the block so I trust his coaching. He's also "mature" and I know some other folks of his generation that have low tolerance and high expectations. What to do? This is a parenting dilemma I have become very familiar with over the past ten years. I know there are certain words that will likely never be used to describe my son. These include mellow, calm or laid-back. It can be hard for people to see this body-function humor loving, unfocused, whirling dervish as a bright young boy with a sweet heart and deep mind. So here was my response -

Thank you for your note. We appreciate your confidence in [he who is spirited] and would very much like to work together for the best outcome for everyone. [he who is spirited] has sensory integration dysfunction. We cannot control this. We've been working with him since before he could walk via occupational therapy. This is however something he needs to work with and he has made tremendous progress year after year. As parents, our job is to advocate for him and guide him to be the best person he can be. We always appreciate it when others understand that [he who is spirited] looks the same as other kids his age, but his neurological system operates a bit differently. We want him to be afforded all the opportunities everyone wants for their children and we believe in him working hard for these opportunities. We have talked with [he who is spirited] about the importance of teamwork, good sportmanship and respect. He wants to be on the team and has agreed to work harder. He has told us - prior to your note - that he is getting teased about his shorts being "too short". Not sure if this is 100% accurate, but we ask that you and the assistants please watch for and address any teasing (anyone, not just [he who is spirited] ). Thank you again and we look forward to working with you.