September 17, 2011

In sickness and in health

Alternately titled - Marriage: the good, the bad and the hospital

This is not the post where I tell you I have it all figured out. To the contrary, most days I don't feel like I have anything figured out. I do the best I can with what I've got and try to gain what I can to improve. I've received much advice about marriage over the years (mostly good) ... keep a sense of humor, compromise, don't sweat the small stuff, don't go to bed angry, make yourself comfortable in the B&N Self Help section, etc. Throw in kids, finances, friends, family, work, life changes, politics, religion, hobbies and many other things in the mix and you've got a firestorm. Some people just seem to "click" and coast through life on the marriage front. Hubby and I have rarely been on "autopilot". We have to really work at it and sometimes one was working when the other wasn't. Good times. We have a lot of love, tenacity and general stubbornness which has gotten us this far. However, recent events have changed our outlook on life ... and our marriage. Every day is a gift and every day with the one you love is an even greater gift. Other than physical/mental health, putting your spouse first in life is job #1. This is our golden rule now.

Marriage is hard ... we know this first hand. Marriage while one spouse is away is hard ... we know this first hand too as Hubby traveled extensively for his job. Marriage when one spouse is not in good health is very hard ... we're learning this now. Conducting a marriage while one spouse is in the hospital is brutal. There's limited time/space for privacy (and that's putting it mildly), intimacy is redefined, the non-hospitalized spouse bears more responsibility, etc. The focus has to be on the health of the hospitalized spouse; however, the rest of the world goes on ... bills must get paid, children need tending, the house needs cleaning, etc. I feel like I have one foot in two worlds ... the hospital and everything else. The hardest part is thinking about Hubby when I'm not at the hospital and thinking about everything else when I am with Hubby. It pales in comparison to what Hubby is experiencing. We know there are many adjustments on the horizon ... individually and together. We've decided we're still in it, in sickness and in health.

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