Evolving

I really struggled with what to name this post. I am nothing without something mundane to obsess over. "Change" seemed too simple. "Metamorphosis" conjured the image of a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. "Transformation" conjured the image of a Cybertron (I blame 80s cartoons). "Transfiguration" made me think of the Catholic church near my old house. The more I thought about what I'm trying to convey, the word "evolution" popped up - which according to Bing means

"the gradual development of something, especially from a simple to a more complex form:

synonyms: development · advancement · growth · rise · progress · expansion".

Y'all know I love a good list and I found the following one on the characteristics of highly evolved people:

1. Sense of purpose - right now it's learning new things (skiing, German) and being the best me I can be
2. Actions anchored by values - adventure, curiosity, fun, health, honesty, inventiveness, learning, open-mindedness, organization, resilience, spirituality (and boundaries!)
3. Attitude of gratitude - I'm most grateful for my family, friends, health and lack of wrinkles
4. Work is not just a job - I work at the best company with people I genuinely like
5. Self motivation and resilience - see #2
6. You control your emotions not the other way round - I've worked really hard at not letting things get the best of me (hello, divorce drama); I see the high road, but don't always turn on it when I should ;)
7. Self awareness and reflection - this came with age/experience for me and my Masters program was a big part of it; I'm learning to live in the questions and not feeling compelled to fill awkward silences
8. Make lemonade (or lemoncello!) out of lemons - I'd get a gold medal here :)
9. Go deep - gossip and being superficial is for sissies
10. Everyone is a teacher and everything is a lesson - amen

The word "change" normally refers to new beginnings and I'm down with that, but I'm also finding it happens when something old falls apart. The disruption and chaos invites us to listen at a deeper level. It invites and sometimes forces the soul to go to a new place because the old place is not working anymore. I love how the Center for Action and Contemplation explains how spirituality plays a role -

• Transformation usually includes a disconcerting reorientation. Change can either help people to find a new meaning, or it can cause people to close down and turn bitter. The difference is determined by the quallity of our inner life, or what we call "spirituality". Change of itself just happens; spiritual transformation is an active process of letting go, living in the confusing dark space for awhile, and allowing yourself to be spit up on a new and unexpected shore. In the moments of insecurity and crisis, "shoulds" and "oughts" don't really help; they just increase the shame, guilt, pressure, and likelihood of backsliding. It's the deep "yeses" that carry you through. Focusing on something you absolutely believe in, that you're committed to, will help  you wait it out.