Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie follows Ifemulu's journey from Nigeria to America and back. There's also a parallel story of Obinze, her high school boyfriend. We first meet Ifem (audiobook SO helpful for correct pronunciations) as she’s getting her hair braided in anticipation for return to her home country. Hair is significant throughout, woven in concepts of race, class (differences between blacks - African, Non-African and American), and gender. I had strong feelings of Ifem being self-absorbed and demanding, especially regarding infidelity, but I think this reflects the tension in cultural differences so tried to just be in it and not judge. It's long and a bit dry in parts ... so much detail that I didn't find relevant. An integral part of the story is the blog Ifem starts while in America (curious observations by a non-American Black on the subject of Blackness in America) and those excerpts held the deepest meaning and learning for me regarding white privilege.
When a crime is reported, pray that it was not committed by a Black person. And if it turns out to have been committed by a Black person, stay well away from the crime area for weeks or you might be stopped for fitting the profile. If a Black cashier gives poor service to the non-Black person in front of you, compliment that person's shoes or something to make up for the bad service because you're just as guilty for the cashier's crimes. If you are in a Ivy League college and a young Republican tells you that you only got in because of affirmative action, do not whip out you're perfect grades from high school. Instead, gently point out that the biggest beneficiaries of affirmative action are white women. If you go to eat in a restaurant please tip generously. Otherwise the next Black person who comes in will get awful service. Because waiters groan when they get a Black table. You see Black people have a gene that makes them not tip so please overpower that gene. If you're telling the non-Black person about something racist that happened to you, make sure you are not bitter, don't complain. Be forgiving. If possible, make it funny. Most of all, do not be angry. Black people are not supposed to be angry about racism, otherwise you get no sympathy. This applies only for white liberals by the way. Don't even bother telling a white conservative about anything racist that happened to you. Because the conservative will tell you that YOU are the real racist and your mouth will hang open in confusion.
The point of diversity workshops, or multicultural talks, was not to inspire any real change, but to leave people feeling good about themselves. They did not want the content of her ideas, they merely wanted the gesture of her presence. They had not read her blog, but they had heard that she was a 'leading blogger' about race. And so, in the following weeks as she gave more talks at companies and schools, she began to say what they wanted to hear. None of which she would ever write on her blog because she knew that the people who read her blog were not the same people who attended her diversity workshops. During her talks she said "America has made great progress for which we should be very proud". In her blog she wrote "racism should never have happened and so you don't get a cookie for reducing it".
Friendly tips for the American non-Black - how to react when American Black talk about Blackness. If an American Black person is telling you about an experience about being Black, please do not eagerly bring up examples from your own life. Don't say "it's just like when I ...". You have suffered. Everyone in the world has suffered, but you have not suffered precisely because you are an American Black. Don't be quick to find alternative explanations for what happened. Don't say "oh it's not really race, it's class. Oh, it's not race, it's gender. Oh it's not race, it's the cookie monster." You see American Blacks actually don't want it to be race. they would rather not have racist shit happen. So maybe when they say something is about race, it's maybe because it actually is. Don't say "I'm color blind" because if you are color blind, then you need to see a doctor. And it means that when a Black man is shown on TV as a crime suspect in your neighborhood, all you see is a blurry, purplish-grayish-creamish figure. Don't say "we're tired of talking about race" or "the only race is the human race". American Blacks too are tired of talking about race. They wish they didn't have to. But shit keeps happening. So don't preface your response with "one of my best friends is Black" because it makes no difference and nobody cares and you can have a Black best friend and still do racist shit and it's probably not true anyway. The 'best' part, not the friend part. Don't say your grandfather was Mexican so you can't be racist. Please click here for more of there-is-no-united-league-of the-oppressed. Don't bring up your Irish great-grandparents' suffering. Of course they got a lot of shit from established America, so did the Italians, so did the eastern Europeans. But there is a hierarchy. A hundred years ago, the white ethnics hated being hated. But it was sort of tolerable because at least Black people were below THEM on the ladder. So don't say your grandfather was a serf in Russia when slavery happened. Because what matters is that you are American now and being American means you take the whole shebang, America's assets and America's debts. And Jim Crow is a big-ass debt! Don't say it's just like antisemitism, it's not. In the hatred of Jews there is also the possibility of envy. "They're so clever, these Jews. They control everything, these Jews." And one must concede that a certain respect, however grudging, accompanies envy. In the hatred of American Blacks, there is no possibility of envy. "They're so lazy, these Blacks. They're so unintelligent, these Blacks." Don't say "oh racism is over, slavery was so long ago". We are talking about problems from the 1960s, not the 1860s. If you meet an elderly American Black man from Alabama, he probably remembers when he had to step off the curb because a white person was walking passed. I bought a dress from a vintage shop on eBay the other day made in 1960 in perfect shape. And I wear it a lot. When the original owner wore it, Black Americans could not vote because they were Black. And maybe the original owner was one of those women in the famous sepia photographs standing by in hoards outside schools shouting "ape" at young black children because they did not want them to go to school with their young white children. Where are those women now? Do they sleep well? Do they think about shouting "ape"? Finally, don't put on a 'let's be fair' tone and say "but Black people are racist too". Because of course we're all prejudiced. I can't even stand some of my blood relatives, grasping selfish folks. But racism is about the power of a group and in America it's white folks who have that power. How? Well, white folks don't get treated like shit in upper class African American communities. And white folks don't get denied bank loans or mortgages precisely because they are white. And Blacks juries don't give white criminals worse sentences than Black criminals for the same crime. And Black police officers don't stop white folk for driving while white. And Black companies don't choose not to hire somebody because their name sounds white. And Black teachers don't tell white kids that they're not smart enough to be doctors. And Black politicians don't try some tricks to reduce the voting power of white folks through gerrymandering. And advertising agencies don't say they can't use white models to advertise glamorous products because they're not considered aspirational by the 'mainstream'. So after this listing of don'ts, what's the do? I'm not sure. Try listening maybe. Hear what is being said. And remember that it's not about you. American Blacks are not telling you that you are to blame, they are just telling you what is. If you don't understand, ask questions. If you're uncomfortable about asking questions, say you are uncomfortable about asking questions and then ask anyway. It's easy to tell when a question is coming from a good place. Then listen some more. Sometimes people just want to feel heard. Here's to possibilities of friendship and connection and understanding.
Is Obama anything but Black? So lots of folk, mostly non-Black, say Obama's not Black, he's biracial, multiracial, Black and white; anything but just Black. Because his mother was white. But race is not biology. Race is sociology. Race is not genotype. Race is phenotype. Race matters because of racism. And racism is absurd because it's about how you look, not about the blood you have. It's about the shade of your skin and the shape of your nose and the kink of your hair. ... Imagine Obama saying to a census worker "I'm kind of white". "Sure," she'll say. ... In America you don't get to decide what race you are, it is decided for you. Barack Obama looking as he does would have had to sit in the back of the bus fifty years ago. If a random Black guy commits a crime today, Barack Obama could be stopped and questioned for fitting the profile. And what would that profile be? Black man.
- Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson
- White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo
- The Farm by Joanne Ramos
- American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins
- Anxious People by Fredrik Backman
- Her Last Flight by Beatriz Williams
